just open the god damn door already
L4D in Japan!
"A 5-map campaign set in various locations throughout Japan. Survivors start in Tokyo’s red light district, escaping to Kyoto’s Kiyomizu temple, before moving further into the mountains the next morning."
Top Chinese leaders told us that they believe Japan is entering a period of right-wing militarist nationalism, and that the purchase of the islands was a deliberate effort by Japan to begin a process of eroding the settlement of World War II, including the Cairo and Potsdam declarations.
Chinese leaders speak of China’s “peaceful development”, but some analysts believe that China cannot rise peacefully, and will seek a form of hegemony in East Asia that will lead to conflict with the United States and Japan.
This will make a good Call of Duty someday.
I, of course, am rooting for Japan, since China takes american ideas and jobs AND could give us a few beat-downs in a real war. Also there’s no good bands there.
Arctic Combat | Webzen (2012)
- Doesn’t automatically save your login, doesn’t autodetect your country region: you have to enter a password and select North America, East every single time you play.
- Disorienting “BUY SHIT NOW NOW NOW!” screens supercrammed full of unclear selections.
- Loading screens… is the game loading? Is it not? Did I click the right button? IS THIS A BUTTON? Did I do something wrong, did the internet fail me again? No indicator that something is loading, or registering, or HAPPE-FUCKING-NING at all. Good design work there.
- Misspellings on most pages.
- Oh you want to use your mousewheel to switch weapons? We don’t acknowledge the existence of mousewheels. We built this game in 1996.
- Have to switch from Dvorak to Qwerty keyboard in Windows OOPS BUT WE WONT LET YOU ALT-TAB OUT OF THE GAME TO DO THAT. Quit game, switch keyboard input layouts (in Windows, literally two easy clicks), RELOAD STUPID GAME.
- Ugh I see this WZLauncher.exe screen every time I load the game up!? How virusy!
- Aaaaaaaand: once in an actual game, the suckitude continues. I don’t know the gaming term for it (FOV maybe), but being in-game, it’s like changing from a lifelike 55mm lens to a 18mm lens. Distances are out out of whack, movement is like you’re dangling on a robot arm, visuals are plain and uninspired.
- Also, the first level was in THE DESERT. Next level? New York. “Arctic combat”!
You get what you pay for.
telltale games | the walking dead (2012)
Downloaded the free first chapter of The Walking Dead Game on my iPhone two days ago.
Sat in a car making boring conversation with an old cop for five minutes, then we crashed, he died, I climbed out to get the handcuff keys, but quit halfway to his corpse and uninstalled the “game” because WALKING TEN METERS should not be a cumbersome input clusterfuck, and sitting through five minutes of “story” and “dialog” was mind-numbing enough that I’d rather have been doing NOTHING.
I would’ve forgotten all about the crap experience except I plugged in my iPhone to my PC just now, and Apple decided to force me to re-download the game I had deleted from my phone onto my computer. No way to stop it.
So it finished downloading and then I hit DELETE YESIMSURE and that’s nice, wasting 300mbs of bandwidth for no reason like that. Much like 300secs of time I squandered giving the game “the benefit of the doubt”.
I can’t believe people find this type of game ACCEPTABLE, much less rave-worthy.
hitman: absolution | square enix (2012)
Hitman:Abs's greatest failing is that it forces a story on the character, rather than relying on situations. The character is paper-thin. And the story is a bunch of cutscenes.
I really liked Hitman 2 & 3 & 4 (4 was Blood Money, right?), but I found this fifth installment to be too crowded and too limiting, and so every mission devolved into a MASSIVE SHOOTOUT.
I regularly killed everybody. (“Who?” “EV-RY-BO-DDYYYY!!!”) That’s not Hitman.
The killin’ was fun, but not tense. The cover system was handy, but the keys were a little annoying, and I often had to look down and check which button to hit (rather than it being natural and fluid).
Also, Spike from Cowboy Bebop is in this game! A LOT!
I dunno, it’s a good game, and with patience I suppose it could be what the best of the franchise offers, but for me, I wish I had waited to buy it at half price in a few months.
Favorite map: the cornfield. Not for the leather-clad killer sex nuns, but for the free roamin’ sneak and pounce design.