Van HalenA Different Kind of Crap (2012)  Not to keep you in suspense, but the new Van Halen album is a festering pile of euthanized seniors all festering in a pile. All the songs are resuscitated demos from the late ’70s (recipe for success!) — but that was their only play. They couldn’t have come up with new stuff (they haven’t for two decades), and there was always the slim chance that something magical would happen. But all I hear is rusty malfunctioning. Never a big fan of the Roth era to begin with — an album a year for like six years straight, and never more than two listenable tracks per disc! — I didn’t have much hanging on A Different Kind of Truth. Instead I’ve been exploring modern bands that are simulating the late 80s (Vektor for thrash, Blessed with a Broken Heart for Triviumized glam metal, Pretty Reckless for GnR-ish rock)… And what kind of anachronism is it for Van Halen to have a MySpace page? That’s like Napoleon having a Facebook! (Oh fuck, he does!)  So the new Van Halen, with its lethargic paces and Diamond Dave’s more-irritating-than-ever-Diamond-Daveness, fails to excite, even on a natsukashii~ level. :(
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Van Halen
A Different Kind of Crap (2012) 

Not to keep you in suspense, but the new Van Halen album is a festering pile of euthanized seniors all festering in a pile.

All the songs are resuscitated demos from the late ’70s (recipe for success!) — but that was their only play. They couldn’t have come up with new stuff (they haven’t for two decades), and there was always the slim chance that something magical would happen. But all I hear is rusty malfunctioning.

Never a big fan of the Roth era to begin with — an album a year for like six years straight, and never more than two listenable tracks per disc! — I didn’t have much hanging on A Different Kind of Truth. Instead I’ve been exploring modern bands that are simulating the late 80s (Vektor for thrash, Blessed with a Broken Heart for Triviumized glam metal, Pretty Reckless for GnR-ish rock)…

And what kind of anachronism is it for Van Halen to have a MySpace page? That’s like Napoleon having a Facebook! (Oh fuck, he does!) 

So the new Van Halen, with its lethargic paces and Diamond Dave’s more-irritating-than-ever-Diamond-Daveness, fails to excite, even on a natsukashii~ level.

:(

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  1. jrocknyc posted this